Dysfunction and Nepotism: Why the Celtic Board is to Blame for Our European Collapse
I’m sitting in a city centre bar watching my beloved Celtic utterly collapse yet again. This time it’s in Europe that we fold quicker than I do in Dry January.
Against any kind of quality opposition, we seem to become an absolute shambles of a team the minute they put any real pressure on us - either physically or with any sort of quality play.
We look uncoached, lack a style of play of any real substance, and at times appear tactically naive. I thought the guys at the table in front of me were shouting advice, hoping the team would magically hear it, until I realised it was cries of “Get it round ye!” I might be wrong, but I don’t think they were Celtic fans. It used to be a joy watching one of our games in a Glasgow hostelry and seeing the various creatures inside become quieter and quieter as we went about our business. Now, I see their laughing Halloween-cake visages in my sleep. It’s disturbing, but not half as disturbing as the guff being put out there by board happy-clappers, fans who must watch games with their eyes closed, and the fans who have started to turn on fan media.
We are all entitled to voice our opinions, but turning on fan media and organisations such as the Celtic Fans Collective isn’t the way to go. They didn’t bring us to where we are now as a club, both on the park and off it. There is only one set of people who have that honour, and it’s the board. Through the last two decades, we have become smaller and smaller as a club, both in mind and in our actions, and it’s the men and women at the top who carry the can. Dysfunction and nepotism are rife at Celtic. It’s a "jobs for the bhoys" mentality that’s driving us to this point. We have a club legend at the helm of the football team who, had he been backed in a proper and timely manner, may have written another famous chapter in his Celtic story this season. Instead, he is now on the brink of looking past it and inept.
We shouldn’t be here, but we are, and we just have to stick together because that’s when Celtic is at its best. Those aren't my thoughts; it’s what Brian Wilson will be saying shortly via a broadcast from our own version of state-run Communist media, The Celtic Player. It’s coming. Operation "Feed Them Guff" is bound to kick in. The stadium is in a sorry state, but the team on the park is crumbling far quicker than the concrete concourses we all walk upon.
I’ve become guilty of singling players out for criticism. I have been giving Sebastian Tounekti pelters online and in the stands. I never used to do it. I used to be a believer in "back the team and sack the board," but I think season upon season of seeing us go about our business like rank amateurs is taking its toll. The problem is, it’s really not these guys we should be taking aim at. It’s the guys and gals at the top. There are lots of Celtic fans who hold positions in the business world with a wealth of experience whom I’d love to see take Michael Nicholson aside and tell him what they think of his particularly weird way of going about his job. I’d imagine it would go along the lines of: “Michael, pal, chum, matey, chappie… you’re dugmeat.”
So, if you think that fan media and organisations are the problem, and that those at the top are a top-drawer board who give the football department what it needs, then get hold of Charlie and the Bhoys to start penning a new version of Willie Maley hailing their accomplishments:
“And they gave us Sammy Johnston and Seb Tounekti…”
Dugmeat. Utter dugmeat.
I’m away for a pint.
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