LIES, DAMNED LIES, AND CELTIC STATEMENTS
- BY LIAM CARRIGAN
- 1 day ago
- 6 min read
Strong language for a headline, I know, but I think the strength of feeling amongst most Celtic fans today, in the midst of that utterly tone-deaf, nameless and quite possibly artificial statement from the Celtic Board last night, I think the time to take the “kid gloves” off is long overdue.
There is a veritable barrage of exaggerations, fabrications and bad faith arguments riddled through the entirety of last night’s statement, quietly pushed out on a Saturday evening as the board no doubt patted themselves on the back, safe in the knowledge that most ordinary fans would either be too tired from work or too p*shed to read it, let alone take its contents on board.
Once again showing just how out of touch they are with the wider Celtic support, and our unwillingness to be mastered.
Deconstructing the Saturday Celtic Statement
I always say though, regardless how much personal contempt you may hold for an individual, or in this case, a group of individuals, we should always strive to attack the argument, not the man.
So, having calmed down a little since my first post this morning, let’s take a more forensic look at that official Celtic statement and see just where our club’s custodians are being “economical with the truth.”
First of all, there's this little ditty in paragraph 2: “We are listening to the views expressed by our supporters, welcome dialogue and we are always willing to learn lessons. The Club is committed to engagement with supporters, and we will work hard to address the concerns and frustrations that have been raised.”
Ok, then, I’ll play along. Who do I speak to that will actually be able to directly address the concerns I have about the club?
With the greatest of respect to our Supporters Liaison, John Paul Taylor, (and I sincerely mean that, the man is doing the work of about 5 or 6 people at the moment).
All we ever seem to hear from him is “I’ll pass that onto the club.” And then nothing happens. That’s not his fault. Afterall, as a liaison it’s his job to act as a go-between. When complaints he brings forward are not acted upon, that’s on the higher-ups, not him.
Who do I speak to about the excessive cost and frequency of merchandize?
Who do I talk to about the utter sh*tshow of amateur videography that is Celtic TV?
Any takers? No, I thought not.
Let’s move on to the slow-moving car crash that was this summer’s transfer window. Paragraph 4 of the “official Celtic statement” says the following: “Transfer activity attracts enormous attention and speculation, particularly across social media, and the mainstream media has commoditized the transfer window in its relentless search for content”.
So, it’s the “mainstream” media’s fault, is it?
Funny how you had no trouble yesterday turning to, perhaps the most insidious seekers of attention and content views, The Scottish S*n when they were happy to play along with your ploy to throw our manager, Brendan Rodgers, under the bus.
Enemies when the narrative suits you, yet allies when you need them.
It’s not just the fault of the media though, apparently UEFA carry some of the blame too, but not our beloved board. Paragraph 8 states the following: the Club’s model is not optional – it is now essential as a consequence of the UEFA Sustainability Regulations, with which the Club must comply. Wages and transfer spending are strictly governed by UEFA’s regulations, which effectively cap wages and transfer spending as a proportion of our revenues.”
About those revenues: How come we could spend over 30 million on transfers last summer, yet less than half of that this year?
Surely our income hasn't dropped by 50% in a single year? Has it?
UEFA rules state that spending by clubs must be capped at 70% of revenue. We reported a pre-tax profit of 43.9 million in our latest financial figures, up to December of last year. Furthermore, we added 20.2 million in transfer revenue over the summer.
This doesn’t take into account any of the money from season ticket sales, or the dozen or so kit and merchandize launches we’ve had over the past few months, or the lucrative new deal we signed with Adidas, which was, supposedly the biggest in Scottish football history.
Even so, these very rough estimates give us a baseline minimum revenue of 64 million. I’m sure the actual figures will be higher than that when they are disclosed in the next month or so.
So, that gives us in excess of 44 million pounds to play with, and still come within UEFA’s regulations.
Yet our total transfer expenditure up until the closure of the latest window was 13.1 million pounds.
If the Celtic Board were any more cautious, they’d barely emerge from their beds in the morning.
Champions League money would have taken this figure up over 90 million of course, but we all know how that particular bit of “risk aversion” ended up for the Celtic board.
At the end of the day, if we spend responsibly, more revenue will come via greater prize money, more TV money, and more merchandize sales on the back of the extra prestige Champions League participation and progression would bring.
You have to speculate to accumulate, that’s a basic law of economics, and anyone who doesn’t get that has no business being anywhere near the boardroom of any company, let alone one of the world’s biggest football clubs.
Then, just when you think they couldn’t be any more financially naïve, there’s this:
“There are many factors and challenges at play in the global transfer market, many of which are outwith the club’s control, including selling clubs seeking fees beyond our valuation”
Guys, I’ve got some news that might come as a shock to you, in your sheltered we enclave of cigar smoke and brandy in the board room.
Football transfers are a seller’s market. The club selling the player sets the price, not you. Whatever you, in your limited football knowledge, think a player is worth is utterly irrelevant.
If Go-Ahead Eagles tell you they want 5 million pounds for Jacob Breum, that’s what you pay. If you don’t think he’s worth that, respectfully say “no thank you” and move onto other targets.
Don’t go leaking to your friends in the press how much you actually think the guy is worth and then start crying about the unfairness of it all when the Eagles’ chairman decides to publicly call you out on your BS, and tell you that Rangers did it properly.
Let's take the argument the statement puts forward about their "valuation of players" and apply it to another bugbear of mine, the cost of a Celtic top.
The latest jerseys cost 75 quid, or 130 if you want the "authentic" one.
Now, I know from my own research, and this is easily accessible information online, that these jerseys cost about 8-10 pounds to make. That includes the absurdly low wages that the staff in South-East Asia making them are paid.
But, I'll be generous and say, "you know what, I know its a bit above the true value of the item, but 'll give you 30 quid for it. How about that?"
"What do you mean 'get out of the shop or we'll call the police?'
"Ok, final offer, 40 quid, but I want to pay you half now, and the other half at the end of the season if I still like the shirt."
It sounds totally ridiculous, I know, but this is an analogue to the conversations Celtic have been having having with the likes of Anderlecht, Antwerp, Go Ahead Eagles, Feyenoord and numerous others all summer.
I guess the closing line of this embarrassment of a statement really sums it up: “We hope this statement provides clarity about our transfer policy and reassurance of our unwavering dedication to Celtic’s short, medium and long-term success.”
Nope, and nope. You provided no specific answers to any of our concerns. Whether this statement was indeed AI generated or not, the fact that such a widespread suspicion even exists should be a source of humiliation and contrition for you all.
But of course it isn’t. You’ve managed to fold just about every other corporate cliché into this statement except for the usual “we know me must do better, and we’ll learn from this”.
No-one on the Celtic Board even had the courage to put their name to this statement, nor the character to accept any responsibility for this utter shambles.
You know what, I guess I was wrong, I haven’t calmed down, I’m still raging. I’m sure most of you are too.