THE SASH MO SALAH WORE? THE S*N ENTERS A WHOLE NEW LEVEL OF FANTASY
- BY LIAM CARRIGAN
- 4 minutes ago
- 2 min read
I think I may have finally found it folks, the single most ridiculous excuse for a story I’ve seen all year.
You might remember a few weeks ago when I wrote about the “up and coming star dubbed the new Mo Salah” set for a move to Rangers.
Unfortunately for lovers of all things "staunch", Ren-Jah Zadid’s move to Ibrox will not be going ahead due to the unforeseen complication of him being completely fictitious.
I knew the story was ridiculous enough that everyone would see it for what it was: fiction, with a touch of parody and self-deprecating satire.
Judging by today’s headline though, it seems The Scottish S*n took my annual wind-up as inspiration for an actual attempt at journalism.
Honestly, you couldn’t make this up. I might have to pass on the chance to do another April Fools Day blog next year. What The S*n have chosen to run today is, genuinely, beyond parody.
No, Mo Salah Won’t be Joining Rangers, No Matter How Hard The S*n Tries to Make it Real
I think most rational human beings know there’s about as much chance of Donald Trump buying Rangers, then making Pope Leo his first signing, as there is of Mo Salah heading to the stadium the John Brown played for when his contract with Liverpool expires in the summer.
Still, if mountain climbing were optimism, the Rangers cheerleaders at The S*n have just scaled Everest several times over.
Today’s story (I use the term very loosely), suggests that an “Ibrox insider” is keeping tabs on Mo Salah and has “discussed the strikers future with executives at Rangers.
That insider is former Liverpool player Stig-Inge Bjornebye. I’m sure the fact that his initial 6 month contract as a Rangers consultant and football advisor is up for renewal imminently is entirely incidental to the timing of this “story”.
I mean, there might be some truth to it. Somebody at Rangers may have asked Bjornebye about the iconic Egyptian. I would guess the conversation probably went something like this:
“Any chance we could get Mo Salah?”
“About as much chance as there is of Elvis crashing a UFO into Loch Ness, before declaring his undying support for "The Rangers".
“So, you’re saying there’s a chance then??”
I think you get the picture.
Once again, this is an example of our media, desperate for any scrap of optimism in what may well end up being a trophyless season for their beloved Rangers, clutching at more straws than the proverbial scarecrow with a severe self-abuse addiction.
Like I said, you couldn’t make it up, But I guess we should give The S*n some credit for trying. And no doubt there are plenty of idiots among their ever dwindling readership who will fall for it.
