MORE RANGERS HYPE AND FALSE HOPE FROM THE S*N, WILL THEY EVER LEARN?
- BY LIAM CARRIGAN
- 4 days ago
- 2 min read
They never learn, they just never, ever learn.
My dad asked me an interesting question yesterday as we were talking about the latest football transfers and other gossip.
He said: “Why is it that Rangers never seem to sign just a good player?
“Why is it that, every time they make a signing, he’s a wonderkid, or the next Ronaldo, or a player soon to be valued at 20 million?”
He then sent me a link to The Scottish S*n’s latest bit of football fluffing on Rangers new signing Joe Rothwell.
Remember folks, I read this trash so you don't have to. You’re welcome.
Rangers New “Set Piece Specialist” Who Can’t Score Goals
So, according to The S*n’s latest sampling of Sevconian stenography, Joe Rothwell is a “set piece specialist” with Excellent “XG” and some of the best stats in the English Championship.
“Oh well, I guess this guy must be the real deal” I thought. So, I took I upon myself to do a wee bit of research.
Since the start of the 2022-23 season, he’s played 83 games for 3 different clubs, and managed an absolutely astounding return of (checks notes…) four goals.
The Sun goes on to remind us that he was “statistically one of the top performers in The Championship with Leeds last season."
This is truly amazing. Especially when you see that over his 36 games for the club that now shares an executive with Rangers, he’s returned… just as many goals as I would have playing in that midfield.
Zero. That’s right, not a single goal from our “dead ball specialist”. Although, if he takes penalties, I guess he should be good for 10 or 15 a season at Ibrox.
Maybe this is what philosophers would call Schrodinger’s new signing. Simultaneously an absolute world beater, whilst having the end product of a one-legged man at an arse-kicking contest.
Or maybe, just maybe, this is yet another player being ridiculously over-hyped by a newspaper desperate to push out as much positive PR for Rangers as is humanly possible.
The thing is, we see this every year. All it does is invite mockery, and ridicule, and make alread difficult task for a player almost impossible.
Five or six games into the season, when the Rangers support realize they haven’t signed the reincarnation of Pele, the poor guy will get hunted. And none of this is his fault.
It’s the same ever-repeating cycle of an attention-seeking media, feeding an extremely entitled and totally unrealistic fanbase, with whatever nonsense they will swallow.
Still, we’ve been to this party enough times to know how it ends.
Let them have their hype, their misplaced arrogance and the sense of smug superiority for now.
In the end, it’s the hope that kills them.
